back to school is the yelling mom procrastinator kid combo at it again

The new school term has started, and the happiest ones are definitely the parents. However, after such a long holiday, transitioning back to early mornings and school routines can be tough for children. At this moment, have you turned into a 'yelling mom' or 'yelling dad'?

From early morning, it's all about urging them to get up, wash up, eat breakfast, and head out the door. After school, it's urging them to do homework and go to bed. Does it feel like every day is spent in a rush of constant urging? Speaking of which, there's an interesting phenomenon to share: in families where parents are constantly urging and yelling, there's often a procrastinating child.

Parents might argue that they have to urge their children because they are slow. But have you ever considered that your constant urging might actually cause your child to develop procrastination?

As children start school, they have more tasks and less time, causing parents to worry more than during their preschool years. Reminders, urging, and nagging often escalate to yelling. Parents claim they don't want to yell, but they feel they have to because their child won't act otherwise. Even when the child is about to do something, the parent's premature urging makes the child slow down, causing frustration. Over time, the child becomes a 'procrastinator,' only moving when pushed by the parent.

Why does this happen? Because the child is deprived of the opportunity to practice self-management and psychologically loses a sense of autonomy and control over their life. The initiative they should have had is gradually worn down by parental control. Since the parents make all the decisions, the child becomes passive.

As children grow older, to protect themselves, they might retreat to their rooms to block out their parents' urging and nagging. Even if they understand that what their parents say makes sense, their rebellious nature makes them do the opposite.

Parents need to learn how to help their children grow by providing guidance and clues when needed, rather than directly giving answers. This helps children learn to complete tasks independently, building their confidence and making them realize 'I can do it.' Parents should encourage their children to take initiative rather than relying on constant urging and yelling. If you yell to get them to do something, they'll need you to yell next time too, as they haven't learned to act on their own.

1. Make a task list

Clearly outline what both parents and children need to do. Each day, clarify the tasks with the child, write them down, and cross them off as they are completed. This helps the child follow the plan and complete tasks.

2. Establish a routine

Help children develop habits by linking small daily tasks to existing routines. Establish good habits one by one, and over time, these will become second nature, eliminating the need for urging and supervision.

3. Analyze the reasons

Understand the deeper reasons behind a child's delay in completing tasks and find ways to address them. Encourage the child, recognize their progress and strengths, and foster a positive attitude.

4. Overcome psychological barriers

Help children avoid feelings of difficulty by breaking tasks into smaller steps and allowing them to decide the order of completion. This fosters self-control and a sense of responsibility. Prioritize tasks and focus on completing them effectively.

Parents should not find this troublesome. Instead, they should adopt a positive and proactive attitude to cultivate their child's self-management skills. A child's independence depends entirely on the parents' attitude and guidance. Strong parents lead to excellent children!

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